Amen.
Dear Juliet, a friend of mine taught me how to start letters in an unconventional way, let me say like this. It means that the first step of the writer of the letter is to show the one it is addressed to what is the most import thing that is being said. Starting with amen I declare my vocal signature. These are my thoughts and I believe them.
It’s almost midnight of a mid day. I slept and woke up already. Maybe I’m a little bit early for work. Maybe I should go back to bed but I’m really afraid of facing the inscriptions of the walls in my bedroom. Since that day a thought has crossed my mind every night I go to bed. I’ve been fighting with my body to get some sleep. I quit the pills. Now I have to pay the price. It’s been harder these days I found out people do not love each other.
Why is it so hard to feel and share some love? Real Love as John Lennon sang. Don’t need to be alone. No need to be alone. People don’t need to be alone. But they are. They don’t want to be alone but they are. Yes, they are. Most of the times, they don’t even realize it. They just go on living – by living I mean running against time - and spreading people apart. It makes me feel sad. It really does.
You know, I was not the kind of child that saw the world as The House of Happy People. People were also sad when I was a child. I was sad. My mum was sad and so were my brothers. But I was happy too. Especially because I could not see the reason why people are so sad. Now I see it. People do not love people. They like people. They like the ones who fit their needs. I have my own needs. Don’t you see it?
This morning I saw someone trying to kill somebody. Lots of people did not care. They just wanted to be part of that festival. That’s the world we’re living in. This is when I feel relieved for not having children. At least I won’t leave anybody the legacy of my human essence. Someone has also mentioned something like that. Nothing left to do. This is how the world makes me feel now.
Juliet, can you give me some advice? No… Advices are not good… Can you tell me the secret of your love? It is still alive. It is still a model for lovers. Although I’d never kill myself for love. I’d rather live for it.
Anyway, I hope you feel better than me and I hope you still can see clouds made of cotton.
All my loving (I still have some),
Linda.
